Every Day I Cry - Short Stories on Dementia Care

Alright I understand that I haven't been writing much lately I have often toyed with the idea of completing the book I once started -- once or twice.  Today, however, I feel compelled to pick up the pieces of a story I wish to tell and begin the process all over again.  You see, the impetus came from a visit I once had by a Palm Beach Sheriff's detective, investigating certain allegations against caregivers hired by a client.  I am not at liberty of using the actual names of those involved but I long to put pen to paper and perhaps by doing this, will release the vast emotions I feel as advocate to a client who was so horribly wronged by a family member, so here goes.

Whatever happened to the commandment, "Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother?"  Detective Allen arrived promptly at 1pm today.  We exchanged cards and sat for the interview regarding the allegations by Lisa concerning theft by her father's caregivers.  I answered her questions as to when I started to work with my clients, what my role was; questions about the care giving duties of the 2 girls in question.  She asked me about my client's mental capacity with respect to his ability to manage his financial affairs.  I explained that although he may have overpaid me once or twice and I immediately returned his check and he issued a new one, my client was keenly aware of his finances.  In fact as I explained to the detective, each month when I invoiced him, he paid only the dollar amount (never paid the cents) rounded down to the lower dollar amount especially when the change amount was over 50 cents. He always knew exactly what he was doing and enjoyed doing it. The detective laughed and said this was very telling as to his mental capacity.  Although I am not a suspect, I was asked the last time I saw my clients and I was happy to explain the circumstances that led to my resignation and why.  You must understand this was not meant to be a witch hunt I was just interested in telling the truth as documented in my notes - and I keep very detailed notes. As a former nursing home administrator, I was trained to believe that "if you don't write it, it didn't happen".

There, I blurted it out,  "I don't believe the girls stole anything from my client".  I explained what I observed on a visit to the bank with my client that last day.  I was asked where the caregiver was at the time, and I said: "The caregiver sat in the waiting room while my client spoke with the manager in a cubicle". 
I explained that the daughter phoned and had been abrasive with the branch manager and how the operations manager had to get involved.  I explained how much money my client was disbursed in cash.  I explained how he reimbursed the caregiver some money she had laid out at the grocery store, and watched as he put the rest in two bank envelopes, placing them in his pocket. I explained how I got the call later that night at 6pm from my client (who was getting a treatment) stating he wanted me to pick him up and to take him home because his daughter was "out of her mind and fired his girls".

Why was I being asked if he had called me on his cell phone or another line?  After all I was not a suspect or one of the accused.  I explained: "He used his cell phone". I explained what happened when we returned to the apartment and how this family member abused me and both her parents.  I explained how she completely wiped out my client's contact list from his phone and what was said when I objected to this action.  But the one thing I will never forget is how my client's wife who had dementia, cried when she heard the girls had been removed from the home.  She shouted: "I want my parent, please bring me my parents!"  It was so hurtful to know that these women - caregivers, who had lovingly cared for this regal lady, taking care of all of her personal needs, were seen by her as her parents. 

I remarked to the sheriff how after my client went to bed, the daughter went through her dad's locked desk drawer, removing all financial contents: credit cards, checks, remaining cash (from the banking transaction), keys to the car.  I told her that I refused to leave the home until the daughter left.  We left together at 9:30 pm.

To my relief and amazement, the detective said the daughter would now be investigated because of her direct access to her parent's assets and how some adult children with power of attorney mistakenly think they have complete control over their parent's decision making before declaring them incapacitated in a court of law.  I explained how after I witnessed her remove the $7000 from her father’s desk drawer, she then blamed another caregiver of having taken the money in front of her father that same weekend.  The PBSO detective then made the usual statement -- to contact him if something was remembered later that I may have forgotten, and left.  All in a day's work of the care manager!

To be continued.......